The barney-spaceman awards


Slow pub crawl


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Inspired by a friend's recent comment, spaceman has decided to set up our very own awards ceremony for the pub crawl.  You won't find any teary speeches here, though...


Awards after Day 18:


Top 8 pubs (in no particular order)

1 Cord - a pleasant surprise, with toasties a bonus.  A Northern Quarter highlight.

2 Corbiéres - trendy basement place - great jukebox, great find.

3 Café Centro - another surprise from the Northern Quarter.

4 The Crown and Anchor - the one near Piccadilly Station - pool room plus top jukebox.

5 Night & Day Café - bit studenty, but live music available virtually every night.

6 Revolution - nice and chilled, but also warm and cosy.

7 Tribeca - another chilled-out place, open late most nights (if not all).

8 The Temple - varied selection of beers and very good jukebox.


Bottom 6 pubs (worst first)

1 The City - toothless old woman (need more be said?).

2 Victoria Station Bar - half the customers were asleep and/or dead.

3 The Crown and Anchor - the one near M&S - cat piss must taste better (than the beer).

4 The Old Monkey - not that we really stayed long enough to enjoy it too much, but the beer was awful.

5 Brook's - 99p a pint easily countered by 80% of clientele hammered at 6pm.

6 Piccadilly Tavern - cavernous hang-out for drunken old men, and no pool cues.


The 'Bar 10' Never Bloody Open Award

Bar 10, obviously, followed by Cuba Café, The Late Lounge, Athenaeum, and The Crown.  Also a special mention for the The Whitehouse, which doesn't open until 8pm in the evening, and Bar 5, which shuts at 5pm most weekdays.  Finally, Jumpin' Jaks is proving a handful.


The Maddest Person Met On Our Travels Award

The toothless old woman in The City wins, no contest.  Runner-up goes to the chattering madman in the same pub.  A mention, also, to the slightly eccentric pool champ in The Burton Arms.


Cheapest beers

Shared by Brook's and the Piccadilly Tavern, with both offering a pint of lager for a ridiculous 99p a pint (although the Tavern was an offer on Mondays only).  Unlikely to be beaten.


Most expensive beers

From memory, this is La Tasca, but this needs confirming.


Best comedy moment

It has to be the time when we walked back into the The City Arms having had a pint there, much to the bemusement of the barmaid.  Runner up is the infamous toothless old woman in The City holding barney in a vice-like grip.  The latest misadventure was barney's unfortunate and inadvertent collision betwixt pool cue and full pint of beer, resulting in an almighty puddle on the floor and a red face for barney.  This all happened in Barracuda,


Most scary-looking but actually not that bad award

Goes to The King, which looked from the outside seemed like one of our less enviable tasks, but in actual fact was quite pleasant.  Barney was also a little bit scared by Corbiéres, but it made our top pub list so can't be too bad.


Largest pub

Probably Moon Under Water, but closely followed by Piccadilly Tavern, Brook's and Wetherspoon's on Piccadilly.


Smallest pub

Well, the one with the smallest bar has got to be the The Circus Tavern.  Previously it had been The Jolly Angler.


Best cure for the munchies

Sam's Chop House served up some corned beef hash which went down very well with barney.  In terms of after the pub crawl, you can't go wrong with Nawaab or Shimla Pinks.  One of our favourite haunts is Maxwells chippy on Bloom Street, used when the Canal Street bars were being visited.


Best music

Definitely Corbiéres, followed by The Temple. Piccadilly's Crown and Anchor and Reform (now shut) are also worth a mention, although for the latter this was largely due to the musical taste of one of the bar staff.


Worst music

Frankie & Benny's is certainly up there.  We can't think of anywhere else, really.


The barney award for the best architecture

The winner, according to self-confessed architecture enthusiast, is Exchange Bar in the Royal Exchange, followed by Rothwells, then the Victoria Station Bar.


Best makeover

A category suggested and completed by barney.  Best so far was Queer, an almost unrecognisable transformation.  Colour Bar and Baa Bar also get a mention, while Autobahn takes last place because it looks the same as it used to (more or less) when it was Bar 38.


The Cosmopolitan Spirit wrong place at the wrong time award

Cosmopolitan Spirit, obviously, for its swift and spectacular failure, both opening and closing during the course of our pub crawl (it's located opposite Tesco Metro, just off Market Street).  Alas, we will never know...


Value for money award

Got to be Fab Café reckons barney, but it's stretching the point a little as the food is all out of tins (so not much value, then).