UEFA European Football Championship 2012

The Headlines They Were Too Scared To Publish


The Melon Farm

Slow pub crawl


Pub guide

Pub stagger

Heatons Pub Crawls






Quarter-final 1

Portugal 1 (Ronaldo 79’)

Czech Republic 0

21st June 2012


Guess who stepped up to put Portugal into the semi-finals.  Yep, everyone’s favourite villain, Ronaldo.  Brunginho seemingly had this lined up with a swift and clever:


Ronaldo books a-head for an early Czech out


Spaceman could not link the whole headline together but still managed to slip in a couple of puns.


Cristiano the redeemer cashes Czechs out


Brunginho’s effort takes the spoils in the first knock-out match.


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Quarter-final 2

Germany 4 (Lahm 39’, Khedira 61’, Klose 68’, Reus 74’)

Greece 2 (Samaras 55’, Salpingidis (pen) 89’)

22nd June 2012


Spaceman chose to sacrifice this match on holiday in order for a non-football based evening, unfortunately choosing to miss a six-goal thriller.  Well, it might have thrilled for some of it, but the result was probably never in doubt.


Brunginho referenced the decision of the German coach to rest his first-choice strike trio, as well as the obligatory financial slant, with:


Germans don't spare changes leaving Greeks to bail out of Euros after floodgates open


Spaceman mumbled the somewhat more feeble entry:


Germans go fourth as Greece cooked


Brunginho takes a clean win.


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Quarter-final 3

Spain 2 (Alonso 19’, (pen) 90’)

France 0

23rd June 2012


By contrast, this juicy-looking match turned out to be an anti-climax, as France never really threatened (or looked like they wanted to) and Spain coasted to victory, although they only sealed the win at the end.  Memory serves that spaceman went first here, slipping in both French and Spanish puns:


France merde-red by none too Xabi Spain


Brunginho, meanwhile, went for the broadly similar:


Not two Xavi? Spain's opposition Franc-ly poor


Given Brunginho went second here (probably), the points go to spaceman for originality, although Brunginho may not have seen spaceman’s entry – who knows?


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Quarter-final 4

Italy 0

England 0

Italy win 4-2 on penalties

24th June 2012


Another tournament, another exit on penalties, but at least this time we fully deserved to go out of the competition having been outplayed by the Italians, led by Pirlo’s distributive brilliance.  There was no sense of feeling aggrieved, which was a shame, but also a blessed release.  Despite going ahead in the shoot-out, we missed two and lost (a common occurrence in penalty shoot-outs generally it seems), with Brunginho noting the similarities in name of those who missed:


England stick to their Italian job well, but Ashley can't take penalties


Spaceman went for a more straightforward headline, linking penalty with fine:


England pay penalty for Italian fine performance


A draw here, but no chance for penalties.


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Euro 2012 links:

Group - round one

Group - round two

Group - round three


Semi-finals and final


Quarter-final 1

Quarter-final 2

Quarter-final 3

Quarter-final 4